Due to the sporadic updates and the blogger's very own laziness,

To contact me, just send me a message through the Tagboard. I would still be dropping by every once in awhile. :)

It’s sad that I’ve been too busy to update my blog recently. And yet, I find time to update my LJ. I’m sorry, blog… More people that I know read it.

My birthday and the balloons have come and gone. Things with Jiddu are absolutely wonderful. School’s okay, but the design class is really a lot of WORK. And yeah, I’ve found a new love – sports climbing. Things are actually pretty okay and happy these past few days.

So, for the record, I love my life. :)

It seems like I haven't been updating my blog for the longest time. I've been finding it easier to post in my LJ kasi eh. So many things happened ever since my last post. Like the craziest and almost violent fight with Jid. I won't into details, but be assured that nobody hurt anybody, just that there was a lot banging, slamming and throwing all sorts of things. It was really ugly but I'm glad we got past it.

Then there was also the trip to Power-Up in Tandang Sora Ave. with my design class. It was sooo much fun to wall-climb! It was my first time then and I am so looking forward to doing it again! Is there a UP org for wall-climbing? I think I wanna join if there is... Anybody knows? If only Power-Up isn't so far, I'd go there everyday! Haha, na-addict! But really... sobrang natuwa ako! Everyone, let's go climbing!

Anyway, my birthday will be in two days... June 27th. I don't wanna get any older! 20 sounds so old! Haha. But I'd still appreciate gifts, just in case. *wink*

It’s like having this incurable and fatal disease – and this time, waiting to die or for a miracle to continue on living. I cannot help but fidget with uneasiness and be scared of the unknown. There’s the desire to continue on hoping and believing but there’s also that fear that hoping and believing might break me even more.

Yes, it’s a measly grade and yet it’s my life right now. It’s the grade that could make or break my college plans. I would have known the outcome if I tried a little bit more, pushed a little bit further. There are so many reasons. One is living so damn far away. Another is being so dependent on other people for transportation (when I already have my driver’s license). Another, was believing that there was nothing more that I could have done – when I knew I still had the chance to beg a little and try to talk to the Prof a bit (for I’ve done that a couple of times before.)

But right now, there really is nothing I could no anymore. The classcard is somewhere there in the Math building, graded and signed, just waiting for me to come and get it. :(

If only I could just sleep and sleep till Wednesday.

So… here’s to hoping for a miracle.

I started writing this yet another typical narrative and diary-type entry about how good the week has been and how Jid and I are back together… but I decided to write about some things I’ve realized the past weeks.

It all seems like a blur now – last week’s events, but I’ve learned a lot from it. First of all, I learned how to do things on my own. I’m not so proud to admit that I’ve somehow became boyfriend-dependent for most things. But daring myself to do and to try things alone and for myself last week finally gave me reassurance, encouragement and even the drive to set out and explore – even by myself.

I learned how truly wonderful my friends are. I truly don’t know how I would’ve done without them. Especially Niner, Kate and Kev. I don’t know how to explain but they make me feel like I can do anything and I can fix anything. Their belief in me gives me enough strength to finally believe in myself. Not to mention how they could easily make me laugh or see the brighter side of things. I love them for who they are diversity and I love how even after a long time of not seeing each other, it’s like we’ve been together forever.

And most of all, I realized that I should never give up on something that I hold dear, on something so important. I learned how to let go of my pride – one of the hardest things to do.

It’s a new beginning. Sure, there are some changes, some uncertainties. But we’re giving it our utmost best. I’m giving it my best. What we had and what we have deserves another chance.

- Who needs all those hyperbolic functions and all sorts of integration techniques anyway?! Makakain ko ba yan pag gutom ako? Pag memorized ko na ba yan yayaman ako? (Haha, ang baboy! But really... I don't see the point of mastering sine functions, anti-derivation and such...)

- How come people who weren't so attractive in high school are all so damn hot and pretty now? Ba't nila ko iniwan? (Haha, been browsing through my friendster lang.)

- Will my parents let me go off to Batangas? Geez, I'm almost 20!

- It seems so weird and so grown-up having people my age or my friends getting jobs, doing internships or doing OJTs. It makes me feel so out of place... or like I'm getting left behind. I don't really know what the future will hold for me through my course or if I know enough to act like a grown-up already. Do you guys feel like you're grown-ups already? Coz I sure don't.

- She's taking summer classes at Math! Math 11. She's a flunker like me. Oh no, we have something in common! (I'm mean, I know.)

Just some random thoughts before I head back to memorizing all those formulae. Bleh. I hope I pass. ;)